It's game time - and I'm not in the lineup. What to do, what to do...
What players do during their days off has become a hot topic this off-season thanks to the fried chicken, beer, and video games saga over at Fenway. Now I'm not defending those pitchers for going Animal (Club)House during games, but let's face it: baseball games are long. Really long. And oftentimes, they're boring. Could a jaw-dropping play occur at any second? You bet it could. But, for the bulk of those 3 hours, it's not the most exciting action to watch.
So what do players do in the dugout to help pass the time? We entertain ourselves. We're watching the game, we're taking it in, but what happens between the chalk is usually battling some type of dugout diversion for our full attention.
Now there are plenty of ways to amuse yourself while not in the lineup, and as long as you participate subtly, while facing the field of play and reacting to key on-field moments appropriately, you'll avoid being called a "team cancer" by your manager, or even worse, tomorrow's front page. Here's my Top 10:
Everyone has their own "Movie Game" - there are countless variations of this dependable classic, but it's a proven fact that the version Chet Steadman and I played back in college is the most enetertaining and competitive edition to date.
The rules are simple: ask a neutral third party to name a famous actor or actress. Once the movie star is set, you alternate back and forth naming the movies that person has appeared in. It's a fierce rapid fire, head-to-head battle of movie memory - last man standing wins. Obscure titles and cameo appearances are usually keys to victory here, so get rid of Anchorman early and keep Stranger than Fiction in the back pocket for later rounds.
There are few places where people-watching is more enjoyable. Aside from the red carpet at the Grammy's and a Harry Potter premiere, I'd argue baseball stadiums as the best spot to observe and enjoy the many species of human walking God's green earth.
Baseball appeals to people from all walks of life - it unites different cultures and crosses boundaries, bonding fans who wouldn't otherwise have anything in common. There is no setereotypical baseball fan, but there is a common denominator: passion. A fan will do anything for their team, regardless of how it affects their wardrobe, voice, or sleep schedule. The energy of the ballpark is provided by those in attendance, and while they watch the game, it's fun to sit back and watch them - it's usually some pretty good theater.
Quick, easy, straight forward. Stopwatch Baseball is a favorite, and is great for tournament style competition, complete with pressure-packed precision and nail-bitingly close matchups.
Here's how you play: Each time you start and stop the watch, it's an at-bat. If you're able to stop the watch on 0.97 seconds, it's a single; 0.98 is a double, 0.99 is a triple, and 1.00 is a home run. Everything else is an out, and some even play 1.01 seconds is a double-play, but that depends on personal preference. Standard baseball rules apply, with the runners on base only advancing the number of bases the hitter does (i.e., a double moves the runners two bases).
This game is gut-wrenching. Kenny and I had some heated grudge matches last year - I'll admit he got the best of me in our season series, but only because he initiates games after fiddling with the stopwatch for a few minutes already - or "taking BP" as we call it.
A bonus feature of this game is that you can disguise your stopwatch use as being productive and recording the pitcher's first-to-home time out of the stretch. What a team guy you are - coaches eat that up.
