This is a guy who simply cannot bring the heat. His fastball sits in the mid-80's- or at around "Eighty-poo," another must-know phrase- and every time you face him it is an absolute failure in your mind if you do anything but go deep. In the occasion that he gets you out, you thoroughly consider putting all your baseball equipment on Ebay and fleeing the country. 'If I can't get a hit off this guy then I should start setting up some job interviews or something cause I have no future in baseball.'
We've all been there. A guy throws 95-MPH by you? Tip your cap, get 'em next time. Get caught looking at a curveball you're pretty sure didn't even register on the radar gun behind the plate? Time to find a nearby tall building or Google yourself a new hobby. These guys are just plain bad, and yet the long lineage of poo-slingers continues today.
These guys don't scare anybody, but they usually have above average off-speed stuff and can pinpoint all their pitches. They know they throw slow, and so they make a living out of capitalizing on the fact that you're up there salivating in the batter's box. They make you chase big fat juicy pitches out of the zone and then after an onslaught of off-speed, they're able to blow 84 right by you on the black. And that, my friends, is how a hitter's confidence gets destroyed. Frickin' poo-slingers.
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