Showing posts with label Big Brother is Watching. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Big Brother is Watching. Show all posts

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

MiLB LIFE: Drug Testing


Over the past decade, baseball has become a dirty, corrupt game in the eyes of the public. So many of the game's superstars have now been associated with some type of steroid story that the average fan can't help but wonder if any of their favorite Big Leaguers are clean. Bonds, A-Rod, Manny, Clemens- the list goes on an on. The steroid era re-defined baseball. Guys were bigger, pitchers threw harder, home runs went further, runners were faster- makes me feel sorry for the poor bastards who resisted the temptation and did the right thing- assuming there were any, of course.

But Minor League Baseball is now doing their part to clean up the game- 365 days a year. 

In season, drug testing crews will show up unannounced during games and set up shop in both the home and visiting clubhouses. Gone are the days when the team trainer would be tipped off weeks in advance as to when the next drug test was, allowing him to warn the troops. No one ever knows when or where they'll strike next- their confidentiality is matched only by the CIA.

After the game, you walk into the clubhouse and their tables are all set up. You fill out what is no doubt an extremely unnecessary pile of paperwork, you grab a little plastic container, and then, well, you do your best to fill it- but not alone of course. That'd be too easy and not awkward enough- instead you head into the nearest stall with your new pal: a total stranger who's been assigned to closely watch you as you go to the bathroom. 'Pull your shirt up and your pants down.' Awesome.

Pull my shirt up? Ohh, so you can catch all those guys who play every game with a tube attached to a pouch of clean urine hidden under their uniform in case the drug testing people show up. Smart.