MiLB LIFE: The Dip Police



I've never seen the Dip Police. I've never witnessed one of their raids, never felt their wrath.

I spent the majority of my Rookie season doubting such a tobacco task force even existed. I assumed the whole mythical concept had been dreamed up by the league offices as a way to deter the use of chewing tobacco and dip among minor leaguers. Scare tactics, I thought.

Not to mention: guys going around the country, popping into MiLB stadiums every night to inspect the players on the field- determining whether or not they had anything underneath their lip, or tucked between their cheek and gums? Seemed pretty far-fetched to me.

Nope. They're out there. And they're watching your every move.

I've heard legend of epic Dip Police invasions and searches- most of which I'm assuming are fabricated, or at least grossly exaggerated.

There's the kid who got bagged for merely having little dip crumbs on the floor around his stall; the player whose tin was found in a heap of garbage after thorough inspection of the clubhouse trash can; the guy who got nabbed for having BreathSavers in his back pocket during a game- a circular container that simply looked like a can of spitting tobacco; and perhaps my personal favorite, the kid who got fined for having boxers with a Skoal logo on them hanging from a hook in his locker. 

MiLB LIFE: Fat Camp

Came to Spring Training out of shape? Nothin' Tony Perkis can't handle.

Think you can get away with that belly just because you hit a few homers? Welcome to Fat Camp. Now this term may not be universal throughout the entire Minor League system, but I'm sure each organization has their own version of this institution. It's simple really- show up to Spring Training with a belly? You're in Fat Camp. Gain a certain amount of weight during the season? Boom, Fat Camp. Start showing a decrease in your endurance or conditioning level? Go see that strength coach right over there and he'll get you set up in, yep, you guessed it: Fat Camp.

Now Minor League Fat Camp is not the fun and games depicted by Gerald Garner and company in Heavyweights- no go-karts or dances; no pranks or tomfoolery. Fat Camp is simply a series of additional exercises that players considered by the organization as 'out of shape' must do on a regular basis until they reach a target weight. For some it's a kick in the ass- a reminder to put down the fries and booze for a minute and lose those few extra pounds they've  added over a string of late nights. For others, it's a challenge to get in shape for the first time in their lives- they've always been big, but they've always known how to hit or pitch so they've always gotten by without having to change.

Then there's the one or two guys who look at Fat Camp as an inevitability- these are the lifetime members. Sure it's a pain in the ass to have to do more cardio than every one else, and at times it's embarrassing, but this is pizza and beer we're talking about here! These guys simply add the Fat Camp regiment to the rest of the team workouts and go on living their lives as they always have- same laziness, same diet, same slow speed and big belly. These kids are an enigma to me- so you know you're fat, the team knows you're fat, and it's proven that by applying yourself to better health you'll likely be more effective on the field and live a longer life? Yeah, I wouldn't try to change either. Sounds stupid.